Not Much Room

in life •  4 days ago 

IMG-PHOTO-ART-1272297961.jpg

Hey. Do you wanna come in the back, have a look at summat?

The Bear-Man growled dauntingly through his thick and curly black beard.

I had only just arrived in his speciality beer shop and it seemed that already the Bear-Man was up to his come and get murdered antics.

I looked at him and then to the back where an open door brooded menacingly.

It looked very dark behind that door. Very dark indeed.

I had no doubt in my mind that if I went in the back I would be drowning in penis & murder soup faster than you could say hot-dawgy-tarnation.

In the back you say?

I played for time whilst assessing my combat vectors.

Aye, come on. Ah got summat special for ya...

He gave me a gnarly wink as if I was a maid and he a powerful French Banker.

I hesitated a little.

Summat special he claimed. Was I about to be cruelty teabagged before being bundled in a box and shipped off to a Saudi Prince?

Not again.

Come on... It's something you will never have seen before!

The Bear-Man urged as he walked past me toward the yawning black emptiness of the door at the back.

I've seen a lot of things.

I said with steel in my voice.

I was half tempted to give him the whole something over the something of Orion speech from Bladerunner but I couldn't remember it.

Come on, stop being a narsole. You will never believe what I've just got in.

He was standing by the door now, his middle finger twitching at me, beckoning me to my doom.

This time I knew it was for real. If I went over to that door I was a dead man. Or a Saudi Prince's penis-puppet. I wasn't sure what was worst.

Come on. I'll give you one for free?

BASTARD!? he said the word that is Kryptonite to all Scots.

I found myself walking over.

Go on what is it then?

I grudgingly mumbled as I stepped up to the dark doorway.

Mushrooms. Have you ever had a mushroom beer? Not just about old mushroom either... porcini mushrooms...

He held a can out to me.

It was a black can. Dark and foreboding. I reached out and touched it. It was cold. Cold and evil.

Ugh, no. No. You cant make beer with mushrooms, that's obscene!? Who would do such a thing? I don't want it, it's a foul idea. Yuk. Utter boak material. It will taste of shite!?

I flinched and attempted to hand it back to the Bear-Man.

He held a hand out to refuse me.

But it's free... Surely you won't let me down?

He uttered softly.

I... I...

I fluttered weakly.

I'll take it...

Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
Sort Order:  

"Come on. I'll give you one for free?

BASTARD!? he said the word that is Kryptonite to all Scots." true dat! (for realz, I've got a lot of Scot in me!)

Aye. When the magic word is spoken all the barriers come down!! :0D

To listen to the audio version of this article click on the play image.

Brought to you by @tts. If you find it useful please consider upvoting this reply.

Ugh, I no likey mushrooms...but for free, yeah, I'd definitely try it!

I'm really torn. I don't like them much either and the idea of a mushroom beer is giving me the big time boak. Yikes!!!

!BEER
for @meesterboom

Cheers!



Hey @meesterboom, here is a little bit of BEER for you. Enjoy it!

BASTARD!? he said the word that is Kryptonite to all Scots.

When I was young I heard from a Scotsman, when he opens his wallet - moths fly out.

It's true of most of them, I pride myself in being different from the herd!

Mushroom beer? this is gonna be good!

Yech. I hope so but isn't mushroom beer stretching the very limits of what should be allowed!!

Hello dear friend @ meesterboom, who has come up with a beer of champignon, you have to be brave to try one, but who could give up when it's free. Tomorrow I don't try the tasting. Crossing fingers
I wish you a wonderful night

I have every finger crossed that the teasting wont be awful!
cheers jlufer!

It was free, so I guess you've gotta try it...

Posted using Partiko Android

Exactly. The very idea is giving me slight nightmares but heck... It was free!

Hahaha. Of course you took a free beer. Also mushrooms seem to be turning up in everything now. Coffee, tea, beer. Looking forward to the review!

Also I'm back again. I was in a silent meditation retreat for 7 days with no internet privileges and then on a shamanic training course,\ so I was in othe worlds, not just Bali.

Now I'm just in Bali.

Mushrooms in coffee... Nooooooooo!!

And good lord, that sounds awesome!! You do the coolest things!

Mushrooms and yeast are related. Yeast is an important part of beer. It'll be fine.

Probably.

Maybe.

Rest in peace.

Hahahaha... Probably...

Here's hoping!

Well , weird as it is, think about is... mushrooms can make you high, beer can make you drunk, so I guess they can work. Cannot wait for the critique on this.

Shit, wouldn't it be quite the thing if it made me both!!! :0D

You had me at "summat special" though in my ignorance I'd have spelled it more N. England than Scottish with the "summit" ;)

Hehe! He is from Northern England, although I can't quite remember where! I can understand him quite well now :OD